Leadership: You need to “Stand Out” but still “Fit In”

July 21, 2023/Business/

It’s estimated that about 85% of North America’s funeral businesses are still family owned. However, that number seems to be headed downward as the large national and regional consolidators seemingly accelerate their purchases of these family funeral homes when they come to market.

I think that increased rate of consolidation is bound to happen but from my point of view in talking to many “downstream” funeral directors of corporate owners it is leading to, what they believe, is a void of experienced and empathetic leadership at the top and middle-management of these companies. And, I think that problem is going to exacerbate as more and more private equity and non-Death Care related management comes into being.

Sometimes I think that the lack of hands-on Death Care knowledge by those in leadership roles may actually be leading to the issues of our low staffing levels as many funeral directors leave the profession. Let’s face it, it’s hard to understand the issues a funeral director faces unless you have walked in their shoes. . . . .it’s not any different than if I was asked to manage an automobile dealership after being in Death Care my whole life.

There are leadership traits that I could exhibit to help with that auto dealership, but it would be difficult for me to ascertain what issues the sales representatives have or the dealership mechanics have without really listening to the issues that they face and then trying to come to grips with how to alleviate those issues for them.

One of the issues that Death Care leaders seem to have is that they both have to “Stand Out” to land these management positions, but they also have to “Fit In” to communicate and garner respect of the rank and file funeral directors under their leadership. For instance, if they have never had to be up for that 3 a.m. death call, make a removal, do the preparation work, and then be ready to work their already scheduled 8-hour day shift, it’s may be hard for them to understand the stresses that funeral directors are under in those situations.

I’m under the impression that many of the multiple-location leaders are “Standing Out” to their employers, however, if you ask the funeral directors, many will say they don’t “Fit in”. Many will tell you that there is no understanding on management’s part of the hours put in, the weekends away from family, and the stress being caused by not having enough staffing at their location. They will point out to neutral observers that “Management is off every weekend”, “Management is never on the front line”, or “Management doesn’t understand how we juggle all of the issues we must overcome”.

Tom Anderson
Funeral Director Daily

Part of the problem is that they just don’t see the issues. I’ll never say that I was the world’s greatest boss or funeral home owner. . . . but, I did have a pretty good idea when the funeral directors I worked with were getting overtaxed. I noticed simply because I worked beside them every day as a family funeral home owner. Corporate ownership or leadership is not there every day to see how some employees are actually holding that corporation’s funeral home investment together for them. I was always impressed and grateful with my employees operating and safe-guarding my investment as if they owned it. It’s something, at least from my point of view, that many multiple-facility operators seem to take for granted.

While I understand that it is a piece of self-promotion, I was impressed when I read that Anthem Partners President Will Andrews takes “Listening Tours” of his company’s funeral homes. In this article from the Anthem Partners website I sense that Andrews wants to “Fit in” with his funeral home managers and staff. Here’s some of what he says he learned out of his “Listening Tours”:

“You know, there’s a common theme in this industry that you can just throw money at people and they’re good. Well, that’s an assumption. What I’ve found is that it’s not about more money. It’s about work/life balance. It’s about the little things like looking at calendars and schedules and making sure that people are utilizing equipment, whether it’s vehicles or equipment or computers. If you can help them with the little things that are annoyances and nuisances within their day, it leads to a better work/life balance.”

According to the article, Andrews went into his tours expecting some Covid-related stress and perhaps even burnout. He expected employees to want the supplemental income they were earning from working overtime hours. However, that was far from what he found.

“We found out they’d rather have a couple more people to support them instead of overtime. They’d rather know they’re able to have a Saturday or Sunday off, or would love to know they don’t have to take the phones. We’re learning that we can’t assume what motivates someone. We can’t assume why someone is struggling. If you really are that servant leader, you won’t just take the time to ask the question. You’ll take the time to listen. And then you’ll also take the time to apply what’s being used and try to help them out.”

There is no secret answer on how to make ownership, management, and front-line workers all be on the same page and work in unison. However, the more they understand each other the closer that unison should get. Executives and managers need to understand that “Standing Out” is one thing, but “Fitting In” is probably even more valuable.

Related — Here’s an article entitled, “From Grocery Bagger to CEO, Values are the Foundation for Leadership“. It’s an excellent article about my high school friend and college car pool partner John Hammergren. John grew up in my small community and eventually became CEO of McKesson Corporation (America’s 9th largest, by revenue, public company). He immediately instituted a culture based on his ICARE principle (Integrity, Customer-First, Accountability, Respect, Excellence).

ICARE certainly worked. . . .it retained current customers and brought in new customers for McKesson which in turn raised the stock price. And for John Hammergren, by focusing on employees and customers and finding out what they needed to be successful, it eventually worked for John. . . As you can see from this article from Forbes , in 2012 John Hammergren was the #1 compensated public company CEO in America when his compensation for the year was deemed to be $131 million.

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