I had an incident in church on Sunday that both the party I was involved with and myself laughed about at the time.  However, when I returned home I thought about the situation and wondered to myself, “Is it just me in this stage of life or is humanity, in general, losing its focus on what really matters and our respect of it”.

 

And, I think on a deeper level the answer to that question will have ramifications on Death Care and the businesses that serve it.  Quite frankly, the level of profitability for those in our profession from funeral homes to suppliers may be affected more than we think moving forward on how we answer the question.

 

So, I was coming back from communion on Sunday up the side aisle of the church.  My friend, Diane, with whom I went to school with years ago was sitting on the end of her pew and I was going to pass right by her.  Her father, Franklin, died in January at age 99, was immediately cremated, and there was a delayed public committal service about ten days ago at a local cemetery.

 

I leaned over as I walked by and asked, “Did everything go okay at Dad’s committal service?”  She said “Yes, just perfect”.  Over time I’ve learned that honesty is the best policy and then said, “I had planned to come, but Friday is my golf day”.  We both laughed and went on our way following church.

 

I got home and started thinking.  For 33 years as a funeral director I made an effort to attend “every” service that was conducted by our funeral home.  And, I sometimes drove 5 hours one way to attend a one hour service of a friend’s dad or mom’s funeral service in another community. . . .or even 3 hours one way to attend my Batesville rep’s father’s visitation.  It’s just what I did. . . . I felt good about doing so and I also felt like it was about respecting and acknowledging a life that has been lived. . . .A life our Maker gave on this earth, that should be respected and acknowledged.

 

Now Franklin was a great guy!  Somebody everybody liked.  He was not unlike so many of the Greatest Generation that I served as a funeral director.  He was a veteran of World War II serving in the Pacific. . . . He came back and raised a family in our community while working in a blue collar employment position. . . . He served as an Honor Guard member at many funerals that I conducted. . . .I grew up with his children. . . and on and on.

 

I should not have missed his public service to acknowledge and respect those facts.

 

The bigger question however, is our society and will its seemingly lack of respect and acknowledgment of human lives lived eventually dismantle the Death Care profession as we know it?  Attendance at funerals is lessening and quite frankly, many families have taken it to the level, through Direct Cremation with No Services, that they don’t even give us a chance to pay that respect. . . . However, let’s not chastise them,  maybe they are just taking the public’s lead, like my absence at Franklin’s service,  and think that nobody is interested or will spend their time in coming to the service anyway.

 

I could go on and on, but I worry about a society that seems to be more concerned with ourselves than we do with others.  Whether it is me golfing when I should have paid respects to a wonderful human being or it is our politicians that are more concerned with carrying out their party’s extreme wishes, which helps them self-preserve and protect their own positions,  rather than moderating to the wishes of the 70% of moderate non-political Americans in an effort to bring America forward.

 

In any event, my 30-second exchange in church on Sunday has made me take a new look at my actions.  I know that I will stray again, but I want to re-focus my energy on “helping others” more than I help myself.  I hope, for the good of our profession and the good of our country, others can do the same.

 

By the way last Sunday, July 16, happened to be my father’s 105th birthday.  As I’ve done on every July 16th since his death in 1977 I went to Kinkead Cemetery to visit. . . . . .but, on this Sunday I also took the time to find Franklin’s grave and pay my respects to his life.

 

More news from the world of Death Care:

• Death is getting more expensive.  Would you consider a DIY funeral?  Morningstar
• What is it like to work as a Suffolk funeral director?  East Anglian Daily Times (Great Britain)
• Eight unusual burials and cremations, from body donation to mummification.  InYourArea.co.uk  (Great Britain)
• The God Squad:  Soul of the burial issue.  Kenosha News (Wisconsin)
• Funeral insurance salesperson arrested for alleged forgeries.  The Sentinel-Record (AR)
• Valley Lawn Cemetery operator loses state registrations.  DORA:  Multiple violations include poor crematory practices at Montrose site.  The Montrose Press (CO)
• They urned it!  Smith Family Funeral Homes is #1 in our Readers poll.  The Arkansas Times (AR)

 

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“A servant’s attitude guided by Christ leads to a significant life”