Last week we learned of former First Lady Barbara Bush’s death. Over the weekend we received news reports on the visitation and funeral service.  I never really saw the events on television but on Sunday read about the visitation and funeral service on line and in my daily newspaper, The Minneapolis Star Tribune.

It struck me as I was reading an article about the services in Business Insider, which you can see here, how prototypical the funeral service was for those whom we label from “The Greatest Generation”.  Most of my career in funeral service – especially the latter half – was dealing with deaths from this generation.  As I look at the coverage, including photos, of the visitation and service it reminded me of something that I learned in my mortuary school years about funerals.  “Funerals should be events where nobody is invited, but all are welcome to attend.”

I’ve often thought about that saying as we were asked to conduct private funerals for people.  I used to think, “Are there people whose lives were touched by the deceased who will not be  invited?”  They have no way to grieve this loss with others who are in the same boat.  How do we know who they are?

Say what you will about the Bush family politics, however, it appears from my point of view, that their family is very open and the funeral service and visitation reminded me of that.  It was an open visitation on Friday where former President George H.W. Bush, the surviving spouse in this case, stayed as long as he could and greeted all mourners who wanted to pay their respects at the casket — and some reports say that 6,200 people filed by.  For whatever reason, these people wanted that chance, and the Bush family gave it to them.

As I said, the funeral service, in pictures, reminded me of thousands of services I have conducted.  Take a look at the photos from the Business Insider article and you will see:

• Family members laying hands on the casket as if making a connection one last time
• Mourners comforting the surviving spouse
• The grieving spouse being wheeled in by his son (who in this instance just happens to be a former President)
• Another son comforting his dad
• The casket at the front of the church as a focal point
• Eulogies by a son and a granddaughter
• The Procession in and out of the church

As a profession, I think it is great to be reminded that funerals and grieving are for all, but in what seems like a juxtaposition of that point, funerals are also for family – and this family took part in many ways.  In an era where almost 60% of funerals and/or celebrations are done without the body present and with much electronic help i.e. videos and power points — I think seeing an old fashioned funeral service with the body present really shows the power of what a funeral service can be.

I used to see the bulleted points made above at virtually any casketed funeral service I conducted.  I’m glad that I was able to work in that era and in a community where about 90% of the deaths were casketed with public visitations and funerals.  As society moves forward and the consumer becomes a “smarter” shopper, I think all of us in the profession should give pause and see how the “First Lady of the Greatest Generation” was presented to the nation in death and realize that there is tremendous value in this type of service.

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