Traditions. . . .it’s good to remember them

I enjoy learning.   I know that there is an awful lot left to learn by me in my lifetime.  And, it goes without saying that I love to learn more and more about the funeral profession because it was the profession that I earned my living in.  I’ve also found out that sometimes I learn even when I don’t think I’m going to.

So, when I saw this article entitled “Death rituals in Black community have been altered or forgone in the Pandemic” I was pretty sure that I would read about how in the historic Black community casketed earth burials have been turned into cremations because of Covid-19.  Sure enough, that was a part of the article, but I did learn a lot more.

The article comes from National Public Radio (NPR) and can also be listened to in 6-minutes or read from the above link.  It features journalist Ayesha Rascoe interviewing Southfield, Michigan, funeral home owner Stephen Kemp.  I served my working career in a 98% white community and the racial minorities in that community, when a death occurred in their families, pretty much followed the traditions of the rest of the community  —  my point is that we were a pretty straight-forward traditional community when it came to funeral traditions and the traditions that funeral director Kemp talks about were pretty unfamiliar to me.

Here’s what funeral director Kemp said has changed at his funeral home because of the pandemic and social distance rules:

Funerals are less social.  Traditionally, he states, that funerals are large social events in the Black community.  With Covid-19 that hasn’t been allowed to happen.  He does, however, see some positives in the Zoom generation of funerals.  For instance, those from a distance can view in.

There is much less ritual.  Here’s what he says about that, “. . . there were all these rituals. You go around to see the family. There was the repass where you had the food. That is very different now, though.”

There are less church funerals. . . more and more seem to happen in the funeral chapels.  Here’s what Kemp says of that situation, “. . .in terms of historically going to churches, we – that is way down, way, way, way down. So you’re beginning to see a lot more funerals here at the funeral home versus traditional places like a church.”

There is more cremation.  Here’s what he says about that situation, “I do see cremation growth because financially, it makes a whole lot of sense.  . . And cemeteries have increased their prices really, really disproportionately to the inflation rate.”

From my point of view, I don’t think that there is much in those changes that would surprise any funeral director anywhere.  However, there was more to the journalist/funeral director discussion on NPR and that is where I really learned something.

First of all, I think it is important to note, that I do recognize that America has had some issues in her past and has not always treated every person or every society as they should be treated.  I like to think that while we are slow to recognize some of these injustices, America eventually does recognize them and becomes enlightened to change the situations over time.

You don’t have to think much farther back than slavery and the Emancipation Proclamation in 1863, or the Women’s suffrage movement and their right to vote granted in 1920, or a minority being elected Vice-President in 1928 (Native American Charles Curtis), or the Civil Rights Act in 1964, or Title IX giving Women equal rights in education in 1972, or as late as 2020 when funeral director Aimee Stephens’ case was upheld by the United States Supreme Court giving transgender people protection from discrimination based on sex.  Here’s a link to the Aimee Stephens’ case should you have missed it.

None of those injustices should have happened.  However, as I stated, America is slowly enlightened and has moved those injustices forward.

So, here is what I learned from reading the NPR article.  During the time before the 1964 Civil Rights Act, as you know, there was segregation in much of America.  I learned from the article that because Blacks could not be served in many restaurants, they brought box lunches with them on the bus or to work.  I find it fascinating that at Kemps Funeral Home they used the pandemic and found a way to historically celebrate that past.

You see, because of the pandemic and social distancing rules none of the “repass” or funeral lunches were allowed to happen.  What did funeral director Kemp do?  He served “box lunches” on the way out of ceremonies.  Here’s what he says of that situation, ” In terms of now in the repass – what we were doing during the pandemic is I was catering boxes. If you remember on the civil rights….  When we were on the buses or trains, when they didn’t serve us, we had lunchboxes.. . Well, a local African American restaurant here – soul restaurant – makes a box with historic indications on the outside and giving people the history of what we did. We serve those on the way out.  So people take their box with you. Take your takeout with you. Take your juice and go on. And we all still celebrate. And, you know, people didn’t turn that down.”

Tom Anderson
Funeral Director Daily

Finally, funeral director and funeral home owner Kemp answered a question about the funeral business being personal.  His answer, which I will quote below, taught me a lot about the role of the Black funeral home owner in the Civil Rights movement.  If he’s correct in his assessment, and I’ve no reason to think he isn’t, it certainly shows the positive role of the Black funeral home owner in the quest for Civil Rights.  I don’t think it is something that most of us in the profession realized.

Here’s what Kemp said about the Black funeral home owner’s historic role, “Very, very personal. And I think that’s probably, you know, when I said, as the last bastion of African American minority business, we still support one another in that industry because of our historical ties from the civil rights era. The funeral director was always the one that had the car and drove the civil rights person around. Even going back to the post-Civil War era, typically, white funeral directors took care of us. But they always put us in the basement. They always put us in the back room. The funerals weren’t scheduled there. And then African Americans decided to enter the business, as well, in Birmingham, in Selma, in those areas that – where they need to march. What I always tell people is, who do you think paid the bail for those civil rights leaders who got put in jail for no reason down there? It was always the funeral director. The clandestine meetings that needed to be held without infiltration were typically held in what? A lot of people know – funeral homes.”

So, there you have it.  I started to read a short article simply because I thought it would tell me of a preference for cremation over burial.  But, I learned so much more.  I love being a life-long learner and hope you do to.

Here is the website for the Kemp Funeral Home

Have a Great Weekend!!!

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