The funeral and cremation business continues to evolve. . . . But, are we stuck in some of the “same old business” methods and way too slow for today’s consumers to keep us relevant?  That’s a question that I asked myself last weekend.

 

Let’s go back to the early 1900’s and the time that “funeral homes” started replacing family homes for visitations.  The modus operandi of funeral home operators at that time was to have clients come to the funeral home and bring them to the “arrangement room” where the services were “arranged”. . . . . The service was not “created” nor was there any thought to how the family would “experience” the situation.

 

And, quite frankly the crescendo of the “arrangement”, for both the funeral director and the family, was entering the “casket selection room” to pick a casket.  For the family it was the crescendo because, in the world of somewhat regimented funeral services,  it illustrated a “selection” or product choice.  For the funeral home it was the crescendo because it illustrated the “profit” center of the transaction.

 

As a matter of fact, the casket selection experience was such a dominant thought for many families that when a loved one died, they didn’t say they were going to the funeral home for the arrangement conference, they would tell people we are going to the funeral home to “pick a casket”.

 

Well, consumers are different today and they are not coming to your funeral home to “pick a casket”.  As a matter of fact, they shouldn’t be coming to “arrange” a funeral either.  We have turned a corner and most are coming, even if they don’t express it, for help in “creating” a meaningful experience while grieving the loss of a loved one.. . . . .And I believe, most are willing to pay for the right kind of experience.

 

I thought of that last weekend when I had two consumer transactions.  I played an Arnold Palmer designed golf course in Minnesota named “Deacon’s Lodge”.  I didn’t bat an eye in paying the $200 fee for a 4-hour experience because I wanted the “experience”.  Later, I shopped for a new smart television for one of the rooms in our house.  I settled on a television and paid $368 for a product that will last me, hopefully, ten years.

 

So, $200 for a 4-hour experience as compared to $368 for a ten-year product.  Both prices seemed fair to me. . . . You see, our values, as told in prices paid, can be different, dependent on the “experience” we are expecting.

 

I think Death Care consumers have that same way of thinking.  Your client families are no longer making that visit to the funeral home to “pick a casket”. . . they are coming for help and advice with the “experience” they seek.  But, if you are still set in the mode of the “arrangement room” and “casket or urn selection”, I think your firm is falling behind.

 

How about bringing the family to the “Creation Room” where you can tell them that we will “create” the experience that you want going forward?  Among other criteria, my “Creation Room” would have large photos on the walls that shows some of the experiences that could happen. . . . . . a photo could show a family holding Parting Stone solidified remains, another could show a balloon release, another could show a large reception room with people visiting, another might show a family visiting a cremation grave at a Better Place Forest reserve. . . and on and on.

 

Those photos would be there to prompt discussion as you sit with your families creating the experience you hope will be beneficial to them.  And, as I was reminded when I visited my father’s grave, the “experience” that is put into place does not need to end in a week – matter of fact, it may be timeless. . . . My father has been deceased for 47 years but part of my death care  “experience” continues to be carried on with me as I visit his grave site at least a couple times a year.

 

We were not thinking of this gravesite “experience” when we picked cemetery lots in 1977. . . . but over the years with my visits the cemetery continues to be a part of the “experience” on and on and on. . . . . Letting families know that purchasing cremation jewelry if they wish continues the “experience” every time they put that particular necklace on. . . . maybe they will wear it only on Dad’s birthday or Father’s Day. . . but it can continue to be experiential in their lives.

 

I look back on being a funeral director for over 30 years at all of the times that the “experience” ended when we hurriedly shuttled the family back to the church for the funeral luncheon. . . . Yes, they probably “bought” a monument later and visited the grave from time to time.

 

But, as funeral homes and funeral directors I don’t think we even realized how monumental and transformative a Death Care  “experience” can be for those grieving families.  I think we owe it to the families that we serve to help them in being as creative as possible. . . . and, in a funeral home business world where inflationary costs are requiring funeral homes to bring in more revenue per funeral, helping families “create” this experience should be good for us also.

 

I’m pretty certain. . . . it is no longer about “picking the casket” but about “creating the experience”.

 

More news from the world of Death Care:

• “Green burials” grow in popularity as alternatives to traditional funerals.  Planet Detroit (MI)
• Funeral traditions merge with growth of “green burials” in Wisconsin.  The Cap Times (WI)
• A Quiet Champion of Warwick — Edward Leo Murphy.  Warwick Beacon (RI)

 

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