Life lessons from obituaries

August 30, 2021/Business/

Do you ever read obituaries of strangers? I do and I’ve learned a lot from them. You might find this strange, but I’ve learned many life lessons from reading obituaries of strangers.

One thing I know is that I’ve learned to be a better father. For the past several years I’ve picked out a couple of random obituaries from the Minneapolis Star Tribune every day. I spend only a couple of minutes reading them and then, generally, marvel at the lives that have been lived by my fellow Americans.

Let me tell you how I know that I’ve learned to be a better father. Like the rest of you who are parents I’ve always wanted the best for my children. And, like many from my generation, I’ve always thought education was the key and a college education directly following high school was the right track. I’ve also looked at the education process as a linear process. . . if you want to be a doctor, you go to undergraduate school, then to medical school, then to residency, and on to being a licensed physician. . . .same for young funeral directors — it is a very linear path to your future.

However, in reading obituaries I’ve learned that there are a lot of successful people in this country that did not follow this path. When I read obituaries I many times read of people, who in their post-high school years spent time in the military or traveling the country or following their heart and working in a philanthropic way. As you continue reading many of these obituaries, you will find that these people eventually used their experiences to find work, or decided to go to college, or continue to help humanity. . . .and that led to a successful life.

Reading these obituaries has proven to me that there is also a non-linear path to success. Quite frankly, any success that I have had has come in a non-linear path. I started as a funeral director from a linear path, but what I learned as a funeral director and life experiences also put me on other paths. . . . I would learn and experience a little, have a little success, learn and experience a little more, have a little more success. . . until where I am today where I am still learning and experiencing. . . .continuing to make me a more complete and complex person.

Tom Anderson
Funeral Director Daily

As a father, I’ve realized my two sons, now at ages 27 and 23, have followed non-linear paths and will do fine. Reading obituaries and seeing others be non-linear in their lives has given me that confidence. I no longer worry about a straight linear path to success for them. . . . My 27-year old is a pilot who received his driver’s license and his first flight solo on the same day. . . he received a college degree in Aviation Business Management and now manages an airport. My 23-year old is in the automotive business after playing saxophone in professional bands and recently graduating with a marketing degree. Reading obituaries gave me the confidence that both will look at differing interests in the world, some I wasn’t necessarily excited about, but eventually find themselves in what they love to do. And, I’m guessing that these current positions are not their life’s work. . . . learn and experience a little, have a little success. . . in their case, the apple is not falling far from the tree.

During my time on the Board of the University of Minnesota, I became very good friends with President Eric Kaler. When we would talk about students he could tell you many stories of how our linear students became great doctors, lawyers, educators, and researchers, but he would also pause and tell me that our non-linear “C” students are the ones that became millionaires.

Maybe I’m strange, but I like reading obituaries because they have given me a historical confidence to trust others in what they are doing. Confidence that how one’s life begins doesn’t have to be how it ends.

Here’s a couple of obituary related items that a reader sent me from the Tampa Tribune. The first one that you can read here is about educators that played a major role in the newspaper articles author’s lives. And, in this day of covid decisions on school policy where we all seem to differ. . . . maybe it is time to reflect on those educators who played roles in our lives.

The second article that you can find here is from a Tampa sportswriter whose final piece was writing his own obituary.

Finally the folks at Johnson Consulting Group coupled with the people at Legacy.com will be conducting a free webinar entitled, “The Obituary – Your greatest marketing asset”. You can get more information on that September 7, 2021, event here.

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