If you have worked in the death care profession for any length of time you will have noticed several changes that have taken place.  And, as I’ve done some research on what seems to be taking place, sometimes the choices of the consumer public seem contradictory to me. . . . although there may be other variables that make those contradictions totally understandable.

 

I started on this topic when I recently noticed this article entitled “Is a funeral important for mental health?” from the New Zealand publication SunLive.  In that article, “Funeral Directors Association of New Zealand Chief Executive, Gillian Boyes says her members have always known their families can better manage their way through the early stages of grief when they have an opportunity to say a proper farewell.”

 

The article also points out that “cost constraints are forcing families to choose different ways of celebrating a life“.

 

And, in the USA and Great Britain we are seeing more and more “Direct cremations with No Services” which certainly follow what seems to be going on in New Zealand.

 

The situation seems to upset this priest who answers a question in The Catholic Times about the subject with this answer, “It’s not only your parish church that has fewer funerals; it’s widespread these days, as many pastors will attest. . . . . It’s an enormous injustice to the deceased as well as to the surviving relatives and friends.”

 

Even with fewer and fewer services happening, quite frankly, around the globe, this recent study funded by America’s National Institute of Health, points out the need for more ritual if we are to stem the increasing mental health issues before us.  Here’s a few points that the study mentions:

• Individuals who experience bereavement at any life-stage may develop mental health complications

• For most people, the acute period of grief will slowly recede over time, as the bereaved person makes peace with the loss

• However, a non-trivial proportion of bereaved individuals will experience adverse mental health outcomes after bereavement, including depression, anxiety, and Prolonged Grief Disorder.

 

It seems to me that while researchers are pointing out that for our mental health, something that is being increasingly studied,  “ritual” like funerals and memorial services benefit us, but consumers across the globe don’t seem to have that same philosophy or perceived need for such services.

 

The question that I might have would be, “Why is that?”

 

Might a part of how we have helped our mental health during final illness, death, and bereavement come from the fact that we are “de-institutionalizing” the death process?  By that I mean that we have moved in my 45 years in the death care profession from a highly institutionalized death in places like hospitals to a death that, more likely than not, may happen under care in one’s own home. . . such as hospice.  I think that process is good for mental health of family members, but is it leading to a false sense that a family does not then need a funeral or memorial service?

 

I thought of that concept when I read this 2019 article from CNN that states, “For the first time since the early 20th century, more people in the United States are dying at home than at the hospital, according to a report published in the New England Journal of Medicine. . .”

 

So, I ask, “Is deciding where one is to die and how they are to die” helping that family through what I learned was the “Five Stages of Grief” to the point that they believe that they don’t need to move forward with a ritual such as the funeral or memorial service? . . . . And, even if it is working for them what does that say about the grief ritual for the greater community who is not in the home taking care of the eventual deceased?  Do they need ritual for their mental health?

 

I don’t have answers, but I have lots of questions on what is driving the growing lack of funeral or memorial services.  For me personally, I was able to be with my mother during the last nine days of her life which we knew to be terminal.  Yet, I believe that I really needed the public acknowledgement of her life and death, such as a funeral or memorial service gives,  in order to move my grief and bereavement forward.

 

Is the New Zealand article correct in stating that maybe it is “cost constraints”?  If that is the “only” reason, then I think we will have more issues with mental health moving forward. . . . The NIH study brings about this final conclusion of which I anecdotally agree with — which I believe speaks volumes for having some type of service:

 

“In conclusion, results suggest a potential protective association between memorial attendance on post-bereavement symptoms of depression and anxiety. If confirmed, results suggest that access to memorial services could contribute to reducing risk for post-bereavement anxiety and depressive symptoms.”

 

More news from the world of Death Care:

• Annual Walk to Remember draws hundreds at seven Catholic cemeteries.  Catholic Archdiocese of Cleveland (OH)
• Cardigan coffin maker wins major Good Funeral Award 2023.  Western Telegraph (Great Britain)
• Rare albino squirrel awes workers at Arkansas cemetery.  News video and print article.  KAIT News (AR)

 

Enter your e-mail below to join the 3,376 others who receive Funeral Director Daily articles daily:

“A servant’s attitude guided by Christ leads to a significant life”