Grieving in a Digital world

April 14, 2025/Business/

Shortly after my mother died in 2011 I discovered an untitled cassette tape in the drawer of her big roll-top desk. Being curious I popped it into an old cassette tape player to see what was on it. To my surprise it contained an interview that one of my brothers did for a school project back in the 1970’s with my father.

My father died in 1977 and this was the first time I heard his voice in 34 years. It unnerved me and after only a few moments I shut the tape off never to listen to it again.

I loved my father dearly, appreciate all he did for me, and believe that I am well-adjusted in my grief and remembrance of not only my father, but others I’ve loved also. . . .including my mother and a younger brother. However, bringing back my father’s voice — a voice that was instantly recognizable to me after 34 years — was difficult.

It’s with that preamble that I give you this article from PsyPost titled “Digital afterlife: Will your AI self outlive you and what does that mean?” There is a small portion of that article that deals with grief and the idea that one’s digital afterlife could pop up in the lives of those who are grieving and the difficulties that may occur because of that. Here’s part of what the article says of that issue:

“But this new way of grieving comes with challenges. Unlike physical memories such as photos or keepsakes that fade over time, digital memories remain fresh and easily accessible. They can even appear unexpectedly in your social media feeds, bringing back emotions when you least expect them.”

The article goes on to say this:

“Some psychologists worry that staying connected to someone’s digital presence could make it harder for people to move on. This is especially true as AI technology becomes more advanced. Imagine being able to chat with a digital version of a loved one that feels almost real. While this might seem comforting, it could make it even harder for someone to accept their loss and let go.”

If you read the article you will see that there are links to studies that are being done to see how this fairly new phenomena, including the use of human avatars and artificial intelligence may affect grieving. It is probably understudied and unknown at this point but my guess is that there will be ramifications of digital afterlife on grief.

Tom Anderson
Funeral Director Daily

Funeral Director Daily take: I feel kind of fortunate that when I want to remember my parents or brother I have great memories within my brain. However, if I want to see photos or other remembrance memorabilia I can do that on my own time with the appropriate knowledge that I’m going to do that.

It’s not like with the cassette tape or having videos pop up on social media when the immediate impulse without warning could come. Like I said before, that was unnerving for me and could be emotionally devastating for some.

I’ve often found myself thinking of how some people handle that. For instance, I enjoy watching television shows from my childhood — shows I enjoyed such as the Rockford Files, Quincy, or Perry Mason. Those shows were filmed 50 years ago and virtually all of the actors are now deceased. . . . . .I’ve wondered how the actor’s children or grandchildren react when their ancestors pop up on the screen — the same goes for sports highlights of deceased athletes.

Our digital afterlives — it’s an unknown grief commodity that I expect we will learn more about as time goes on. . . .

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