Traditional Death Care’s challenge with the “Frictionless” Consumer

November 2, 2026/Business/

An Insight from the NFDA Convention in Charlotte

There’s an American Proverb that goes like this “If you can’t beat them, join them“. It’s been used so much and for so long that even the Yale Book of Quotations cannot determine the author of the phrase.

“However, the phrase is one that comes to mind when I look at the state of the funeral consumer and the state of Death Care purveyors at this time. I attended the Opening Session at NFDA featuring Shawn Kanungo whose presentation was titled “Strategy in a World of Disruption“. I found it very enlightening and somewhat reassuring that he believes that Artifical Intelligence will help more in the future than it will hurt those in Death Care. . . . . The key will be “how it is used” to innovate or businesses.

One big takeaway from Kanungo’s presentation for me was understanding that Death Care has traditionally been a “Friction” transaction between the consumer and the decedent’s family. “Friction” being the connotation of “in person” and “highly personalized” services. That “friction” is not only how funeral directors served families but it is also how funeral directors gained their clientele — by being in the community and interacting with those that they would someday serve.

However, Kanungo pointed out that today we live in an ever-growing society that wants “Frictionless” transactions. A definition of a “Frictionless Consumer” by Gemini AI gave me this definition: “The “frictionless” consumer is a modern shopper who expects buying experiences to be completely free of obstacle, delays, or physical effort. Powered by digital innovation, this consumer expects to move from product discovery to purchase in just a tap, click, or scan.”

The following is a photo of a slide image that I took at the presentation that Kanungo points out the difference between Frictionless (automated) transactions and Frictional or human transactions. I’m still a believer in the human element but also understand as we move into the future many of our clients are telling us that they want automated transactions. . . . . .I believe that we have to make an effort to move more in that direction as Death Care moves forward.

Now, I also don’t believe that being totally “Frictionless” is the right solution for Death Care either. For instance, I’ve had those in the online cremation space tell me that very few Death Care transactions happen without some level of communication between the service provider and the family. There seems to be a certain level of anxiety on the part of the family that all is going as planned and those families seem to need that reassurance.

One of the factors that drives consumers to “Frictionless” purchasing is a high demand for convenience. I know a pastor who has told me that “Death should be inconvenient“. By that comment he meant that there should be some human factor about waiting or not making everything convenient because family members would realize that we are waiting “Because Dad died“. His thought process was that every time a family member had to realize that situation that it was good for their grief and mental health.

I would argue today that there are Death Care consumers who still want the “Friction”. They want “Memorable”, “Magical”, “Meaningful”, and “Experiential” Death Care for their loved ones. We need to be able to serve them. . . and they will pay for that service.

But, I also believe that there is a growing segment of society that cares little about those experiences and prefers their consumer transactions to be “Frictionless”. Because of that, I think traditional funeral homes need to be able to provide both.

So, what I really took from this presentation and the situation of “Frictionless as compared to Frictional Death Care” is that neither is the perfect situation for a funeral home to pursue. I believe that there is a continuum on the spectrum between “Frictionless and Frictional” that would be optimum for each Death Care consumer. What our job as funeral home operators and/or funeral directors is, is that we need to find that optimum place – between frictionless and frictional” for each family we serve.

I think that thought process is an indicator that as Death Care providers move forward that they need to have technology in place and human resources in place to provide for every family that calls on you.

If we don’t, we might wind up in that area in between than Kanungo terms “The Blackhole of Mediocrity”.

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