According to this article in the Examiner Live from the United Kingdom, British funeral directors from the West Yorkshire area, that area administrated by the Kirklees Council, are disappointed that the Kirklees Council has taken a position that no mourners may be present at the crematorium for services of a loved one.

The article states, that at least according to the date of the article this past weekend, that the (British) National Funeral Directors Association says COVID-19 instructions from Public Health England (PHE) have made it clear that it wants bereaved people to still have the chance to attend funerals.  The PHE website says, “with certain precautions funerals should continue to take place”. According to area funeral directors, there is no specific mention of allowing people at burial services but banning people at cremation services as Kirklees Council has done.

Again, according to the article, Kirklees Council “began abiding by the (PHE) advice at the start of the coronavirus pandemic, but this week ceased allowing any members of the public to attend the cremation of their loved ones.”

Judith Brooke, a funeral director with George Brooke Funeral Directors Ltd. has asked the council to revisit their action.  According to Brooke, “Having now conducted several services personally with 10 or fewer mourners in attendance, I don’t see how the zero attendance rule reduces risk”.  She continued, “Families are now looking to us for solutions and are struggling to accept that they have had their right to say their final goodbye at the funeral service of their mother, father, husband, wife, or child, taken away from them.  . . .the long term damage is worrying.  People are struggling to understand why they are allowed to buy essential shopping, go to the doctor for an essential appointment, or assist a vulnerable relative, but they are not allowed to a crematorium to say their essential goodbye.”

Speaking previously, the (Kirklees) council’s cabinet member responsible, Rob Walker, said: “We did initially put in place a 10 mourner limit at cremations alongside social distancing, increased hygiene/cleaning protocols and attempted to limit personal contact between individuals and the coffin but we were still seeing some families attending in greater numbers and touching and kissing the coffin putting both themselves and our staff at risk.

He continued, “A chapel within a crematorium is a small enclosed area which makes it incredibly difficult to maintain social distancing.  As the demand on the cremation service increases, if we were to offer a full service we would potentially be bringing staff into contact with as many as 160 family members plus funeral director’s staff every day. All of which at this present time presents additional risk to both the public and staff.”

Funeral Director Daily take:  I don’t think that there is a “right side” to this argument.  It does, however, bring into focus the “tug of war” that is being played out internationally as to the rights of the bereaved and the rights of the general public and staff members to safety.  There are no easy answers.

And, funeral directors find themselves right in the middle of the disagreements.  On one hand, as professionals we know the public health risks of contagion that the COVID-19 situation brings.  However, on the other hand, we have a pretty good idea of what type of grief relief is needed by families.  At the end of the day we are expected and required to attempt to navigate that narrow path that helps with grief relief but yet satisfies the government’s rules.

I understand the dilemma.  At the end of the day I believe that my biggest worry in all of these “no large gathering” – “no mourning” situations is what will the problems be with grief going forward for the mourners.  I think we are kidding ourselves if we believe that these lack of services provided for COVID-19 deaths will provide adequate grief relief for all mourners.

More news from Death Care:

A funeral director fights for New York’s coronavirus dead.  Video from KGAB AM and the Associated Press.

Funeral attendance must be limited.  Northwest Arkansas Democrat Gazette.

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